Have you done Mel? Mega Mel is the burger from Mel’s Country Cafe in Tomball, Texas. It is not just an ordinary burger, it’s not even an amazing burger, it is the King of Tomball, and, while there’s a lot and I mean a LOT of my kind of food in Texas, this is right up the top of the list for the most enjoyable.

The burger is available to any who order it, but the special people like me go for the chance to get our name on the wall. To do this, you have to eat the thing within two hours, and I mean everything. Not a scrap can be left on your plate.

The burger contains:

• 1.5 pounds of freshly ground beef
• 1 pound of bacon
• a quarter pound of American cheese
• as much lettuce, tomatos, pickles, and onions as they can manage to stuff inside.

Check out these happy campers:

The Mega Mel Burger

This Mega Mel Burger looks a little top heavy

Mega Mel - enough to feed a classroom.

Even Emo kids like Mega Mel.

Well there you have it.

This is the most sumptuous burger I have ever had. The lettuce and tomato really help, because the other part of the burger is really heavy and gooey, and from time to time it’s nice to refresh the palette with some vegetable matter.

I literally just ate a pizza, but right now I am feeling so so so hungry for a burger. Any burger! I must have that fat juicy flame grilled goodness…

        

How so! 

The Japs have done it! 

They have build a burger which I would KISS them for. All of them, the entire nation! This tower of grease looks great!

Japanese Tower Burger - But wait, it's two burgers on top of each other!

Yes – wait – wait! This is not one single burger at all, it’s two burgers stacked on top of each other. Those downright filthy dirty chefs didn’t even take out one of the middle bits of bun. If they had, then this would qualify as a single burger. But they didn’t.

Anyway, let’s admit it. I rammed this thing into my face within two seconds of being served. It is gorgeous. It’s… sexy. 

Each ‘part’ of the burger has two patties, fried onion, tomato, and cheese on a lettuce base. But the bun and the sauce is what makes it a gem. It’s some kind of slightly spicy slightly bbq relish, and the bun is toasted, nay, burnt to perfection – still soft. 

If you can read Japanese, here’s where you can buy the burger: Asyl, near Akihabara station. It’s something like 2000 yen. One yen for each calorie.

        

Well, I’m calling it the Minneapolis Burger, because damnit, this gigantic lump of burgery goodness is everything I want to see in my hand when I’m in Minneapolis. 

Burger Jones Minneapolis

Is that an onion ring? YES it is. Is it bacon you see there…? Yes! And what a whopping beef paddy, too. Stick on the lettuce, tomato, and ketchup and we’ve got a winner. 

Who serves this chunk of heaven? Burger Jones, in Minneapolis. It’s only just opened, but they are serving burgers which in my opinion beat the hell out of the other joints in town. 

Prices range from $8 to $20, and they serve what you expect them to serve: veggie, lobster, salmon, turkey, and a specialty burger called ‘Juicy-Lucy’.

A choice of bun types, too. 

Well, I’m going to have to eat something. I’ve been looking at this photo wayy too long now. I have wet patches on my shirt from drooling.