Yeah. So. I read an article in the Mail Online which said there can be more than a wine glass full of oil in a kebab. Now, this is just ridiculous in my opinion. It means what? It means some unqualified person did a pseudo-scientific study of a kebab (I hope more than one) and what, sqeezed the oil out into a wine glass? 

It makes no sense to me. 

Oh no, wait, the very first sentence of the article says:

A shocking survey of takeaways has found a doner kebab containing the equivalent of a wine glass full of cooking oil.

So this was not a scientific study, nor was it even an experiment, nor was it any kind of actual test. It was a ‘survey’. 

A survey, by definition, is a series of questions asked to a variety of people. So how, pray tell, can a survey uncover a kebab with a glass of oil in it? 

Survey carried out during kebab shop peak hours, 3 am on saturday morning:

‘Scientist’: “Sir, how much oil do you reckon there is in that thar kebab?”

Drunken kebab patron: “Mwaar.. gimme a glass of wine…”

‘Scientist’: “A wine glass, you say. Duly noted. Thank you.”

So – bugger you all kebab haters, no matter how vague the term ‘wine glass’ is – there is still probably not more than a teaspoon of oil in an average kebab.

Kebab - Not just a bucket of oil, you silly bastards.

So in conclusion I want to say – The media is totally wrong about ‘fast’ food. Kebabs are wonderful nutritous sandwich, containing valuable nutrients, and hell, a bloody lot of flavor. 

Order a kebab today! I will be going down to the kebab place in a few hours to see what I can get.