Before you all begin to jump up and down with rage claiming that the Sloppy Joe is a classic which doesn’t need to be messed with – let me just say this – I know.

Nevertheless there exists the Sloppy Jane – Is it Joe’s slightly wobbly little sister, or perhaps a slightly slimmer feminine side which only comes out after a bottle of absinthe?

Either way the Sloppy Jane is not something to be trifled with. It can actually be a fairly decent meal in it’s own way. Even though eating it feels like you are on some kind of diet or the chef forgot how to make a proper Sloppy Joe.

The Sloppy Jane is like fat-free milk. It could possibly take the place of real milk but you will always feel like you’re missing something when you drink it.

But here are some nice photos taken of Sloppy Janes at various locations around the country.

The Sloppy Jane in its natural environment. Summer salad and clean plate. Feminine. Definitely.

A slightly more manly Sloppy Jane. This one has some potato wedges at least. Were they fried in duck fat? I hope so.

No. No, sorry. Your efforts to masculate this thing were valiant, however simply piling more Jane onto it is actually increasing the amount of Jane. Sorry.

This one is like one of those famous celebrities who we all know is gay but who keeps trying to show the public otherwise…

I’d definitely eat this one. But then I’d order a 10×10 with bacon for desert I think.

That looks too much like pickled pumpkin for my liking. If it actually is, I am never ordering one of these bastards again.

Sloppy Jane’s Pair. Nice Pair.

I know I would enjoy it but why can’t there be bacon and hot sauce and maybe a bit of habanero inside? Please?

So that’s it. What do you think? Nice food? Did the photos look OK to you or were some of them low quality?

It’s really not a good idea to call yourself a master chilli expert. It’s also not a good idea to base this title on the fact that you burn your guts out every time you eat your own chilli.

It’s an absolutely horrible idea to wake up at 6am with a hankering for chilli, and then proceed to concentrate the power of habanero peppers for several hours in a simmering saucepan. 

Yet there I was, around7am this morning, slippers, robe, and chef’s hat. Standing in the kitchen with two cats rubbing themselves against my ankles, stirring a pot of the most insanely hot chillies in the world. And why?

I wanted to make chilli for breakfast.

So Idid.

MY hot chilli - well, a bit of it

There was only a bit left by the time I decided to make a photo.

Here’s whats in it:

• Tomato paste
• Reduced habanero peppers
• Onion
• Ground pork (beware the ‘flu’, yikes!)
• Salt (not much)
• Brown sugar

That’s it.  

I strongly recommend NOT eating this for breakfast.